The General Idea
My name is Maaike (pronounced micah) and my birthday is on September 5th, 1980. I live in the Netherlands, currently with my dad but I will be moving out soon (end of August). I will be moving to Rotterdam, one of my favourite cities. Most of my friends live there and Im really looking forward to living there, being out on my own and a lot closer to my friends!
I just finished my first year at the University of Amsterdam, my major was Cultural Anthropology. But I will be transfering to the Uni in Rotterdam in September, and start a Culture and the Arts degree, which will take 4 years.
Ive got lots of interests, very much depending on the mood Im in as well. Things I like include Tarot, witchcraft, ice skating, horse riding, reading, clubbing, erotica, history, anthropology, languages, philosophy, pop culture, red wine, baileys, incense, full moon, night sky, candles, glitter, disco, hippies, dr. pepper, skittles, Moulin Rouge, John Hannah, Michael Vartan, Toni Collette, Christina Ricci, movies, Bridget Jones, Crocodile Dundee, building websites, cats, etc
Things That Matter To Me
Music is like oxygen. I like pretty much all kinds of music, except for rap and heavy metal. My favourite band is Savage Garden, but apart from that I also like Fiona Apple, Ks Choice, Tori Amos, Paula Cole, Skunk Anansie, Norah Jones, Dar Williams, Rufus Wainwright, Andreas Johnson, Shakira, Jewel, Acda & de Munnik, Sarah McLachlan, Powderfinger, Heather Nova, Poe, Robbie Williams, Leona Naess, Ani Difranco, Alana Davis, Aneiki, Jessica Riddle, Vanessa Carlton, Dido, Anouk, Sheryl Crow, Faithless, Garbage, HIM, INXS, Muse, Billie Myers, Racoon, Madonna, Queen, Shea Seger, U2, etc...
More about Savage Garden, they have pulled me through tough times. Ive been a fan since 1998 and even though they have split now, Im still a fan. Their music lifts me up and soothes me when the world is cruel. And even though I mustve listened to their albums about a million times now, they still dont bore me, and I still hear new things in the music and find new meanings to the lyrics.
Its my dream to visit every country in the world. I love visiting other countries and learning about other cultures and languages. Im rather proud of the longer periods I have spent abroad: I spent a year in Southern California as an exchange student (class of 99) and I travelled around Australia for 9 months from October 2000-July 2001. I love travel stories and I love telling my own. Theres so much out there to see and to learn about! And Ive also found that if youre out there learning about others, you also learn a whole lot about yourself.
In any form really. Lately its been mainly decos and mail art and the like. But I also enjoy writing poetry and stories or simple drawing, or building websites. Being busy creatively has a very soothing effect on me, it makes me focus on creating things instead of on daily worries.
I weigh too much. Or as Id rather like to say: Im too short for my weight. Ive been trying for years to lose weight, but its not as easy as people think. I think Ive got an eating problem, I eat whenever I feel bad or depressed, and then my weight makes me even more depressed. Its a vicious circle really, one that I keep hoping to get out of some day.
My weight is also my main hang-up when it comes to self esteem. Im usually pretty confident about myself (or at least rather succesfullypretend to be), but when I feel uncertain its nearly always about the way I look. I dont think Im ugly, I like my face, but I hate the way my body looks.
The fact Im rather confident of myself is the result of a long, long struggle with myself. It started in High School, I would always be depressed and very insecure about myself. But through the years I learnt to appreciate myself more and I realized Im not that bad at all a sort of confidence I mainly gained because of my travels. If theres one thing that made me learn to take care of myself, and have confidence in my ability to do things on my own, its being in another country and being on your own, thousands of miles away from your family and friends. Being forced to build up an entire new life, meeting lots of new people, getting accustomed to a new culture with sometimes rather odd habits: the whole thing has given me a lot of confidence and mental strength. I still freak out sometimes, scared that Im not good enough, scared to do the simplest things, but it bothers me less than 5 years ago. Now I just keep telling myself itll be alright, and that I am worth it. And confident that one day Ill get there and not suffer from anxiety attacks anymore and that Ill be really happy one day.
SEXUALITY AND LOVE
Im bisexual. Ive never actually had a girlfriend but Im absolutely positive about my sexuality. To me its about the person, not about his/her sex. Personality is what matters, not body parts. I grew up with a lesbian mom, two in fact! I see both my mom and her girlfriend as a mother theyve been together since I was 7. I cant remember things being different. Im also really sensitive to homophobia, I always take it personal.
I dont have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, never really had one. Ive been going out with people, but it never lasted beyond 3 months, some not even past 2 weeks. One turned rather psycho after a while, and one never said a word to me again. One of them is still a good friend. So I had my fair share of broken hearts, but I am pretty confident that my prince/princess will come one day. I know Im a pretty interesting and fun person, its just time that others would see that as well.
I cant stand narrow minded people.
I cant stand people who put down pop music.
I cant stand homophobic people.
I cant stand arrogance.
I cant stand anyone who puts anybody down for any reason.
My mind is the one thing Im proud of. I know Im not stupid and I have a very vivid imagination which I love.
I cant hide my emotions, my face tells all. I make decisions based on my emotions and get myself in trouble for it all the time.